We've done a bit of self-exploration this semester and I am curious... do you identify yourself as a performer who teaches or as a teacher who performs? Or is it something in between there? Think about the groups of people that you connect most easily with --- where do you think you will land in the professional world? What role do you think you will play professionally? What kinds of socialization processes have you been through that enable you to connect more easily to one group than to another?
This is a question I have asked myself a lot--especially once I entered college. When I was in high school I thought I would be horrible at teaching and dreamed of life as a performer. When, as an entering college freshman, I was told I was not good enough to be a performance major and was assigned to music education instead, my goal was to eventually switch to performance, either for my bachelor's or for my master's. I kept telling myself, "I'm a performer at heart." That whole first semester was a struggle--until I opened my heart to music ed in January and realized that God wanted me to major in that after all. Then I really enjoyed it!
ReplyDeleteI still thought I would end up performing (and maybe teaching "if I needed to"), though, until last semester, when I did my student teaching. When I was at the high school, I decided I would LIKE to teach, but probably only privately. Since my sophomore year of college, however, I have felt led to middle school. Not long after I switched to the middle school level, I decided I would LOVE devoting my life to teaching middle school orchestra. That semester ended up being my favorite semester of my college career.
So what is my attitude now? I would say I am "somewhere in between." I still love to perform, but only when it is fun. When the conductors or the other people in your chamber group get irritable about the simplest things, they suck the joy out of the music. I like to perform when I can put myself into my music without fearing that anyone will insult my music...thereby also insulting me.
I have not taught long enough to know really to what extent I am a teacher. I DO know that a middle school orchestra hall feels like a sanctuary to me, that when I am with middle school students my selfish cares evaporate, and that I sincerely miss teaching right now.
Where will I land? From what I can tell, I will be a teacher and will play in whatever groups open up to me. (Throughout the years I have learned that God opens just the right doors for me when I need something.) I'm guessing these "playing opportunities" will include small symphony orchestras, church music ministries, and occasional "gigs." But, like I said, wherever God leads, I'll go. :)
I consider myself a performer first and a teacher second. There are a few reasons for this, the first being just my strong desire to perform and the enjoyment I get out of performing. While I do feel the pressures from people sucking the joy out of music as Angeline mentioned, when I'm on stage I can't help but focus purely on the music and the convaying of that music to the audience. I am especially drawn to the interaction of performer and audience and the interesting dynamic that creates.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand I have had very little experience teaching. I don't consider myself to be a naturally good teacher but I try to put a lot of effort into it and to always be improving. And there have been teaching moments that I've really enjoyed.
I expect in my professional life to do more teaching than performing, but I would like the balance to be the other way. It just seems like there are far more opportunities of stable decent paying jobs in teaching rather than performing.
I would certainly identify myself as a performer who teaches for several reasons. First of all, I began my college career as a performance major and I always thought of teaching as alternative plan for meeting my financial needs. I also believe that a great teacher should be able to execute all of the tasks that he or she will require his students to do. To me this is a crucial for people who do not think that they are not good enough to perform and go on to pursue an education degree. (I have encountered plenty of them) These types of people typically give up on practicing and view applied lessons as pointless because they are going to be teaching. One of my friends from my undergrad was actually excited about finishing his applied lesson requirements even though he still had a few semesters leftover. (Could you imagine!)
ReplyDeleteI tend to associate with people who have a similar love and appreciation for high quality performances and compositions. Basically anyone who takes performing or teaching seriously. (if I do not win a job in the next few years) I think that I will either continue on teaching private lessons full time or become a band director for several years to gain some experience before I either continue on with my education or join a service band. Regardless of where I go, I will always try to stay connected with my classmates and fellow musicians. I already have a good relationship with the band directors at the schools I teach at, and I plan on building similar relationships with my surrounding colleagues (art, pe, orchestra teachers and band directors in the surrounding area) once I find a job.
I clearly identify myself as a teacher who performs only because it is necessary. I do not like performing by myself. I do not mind accompanying solo performers or choirs or congregations. I do not mind playing for my students in lessons but I generally shy away from solo performing.
ReplyDeleteI find I connect with teachers much better than performers. We have more in common. We understand each other's classrooms, problems, difficulties and in general have more to talk about. I find that those people I know who are strictly performers, seem to view me as a second class citizen. I hear in my head "Since you can't perform, you teach." This is not true, I teach because I always wanted to. I teach because my personality and skill set is that of a teacher, not a performer. I find myself wanting to shout, "if no one takes the time to teach them where middle c is, then there would never be any piano majors." I find I want to defend what I do as important. Someone must be willing to work with beginners and intermediate students or there are never any advanced students.
I have been teaching for 25 years. 3 of those years in the public classroom K-5. 25 years in the church children's choirs and 25 years as a private teacher. I love what I do. In that last 10 years I've been training amateur musicians to teach in those church classrooms. I've also done clinics for preschool music teachers. My hope is that when I'm done with this degree, I'll be able to find a college teaching position where I can teach teachers how to teach. I won't be the tenure track professor, I'll be the one that teaches the music appreciation class or the elementary teacher's music class or some other education class and I'm excited about the possibilities.